Yes, I went to the pain doctor and cried through most of the appointment. He agreed that this surgery has set me back. He wants me to move - who should stay in bed all day if it can possibly be helped?!
In an effort to give me a "jump start" to a positive recovery, he prescribed morphine! What? That's when I really started boo hooing. Really? That seems so extreme. Never in my entire life would I have expected to be on morphine at some point.
This is not who I am. I was once a successful healthcare administrator. I had a 32 year career. I had to stop working in 2008. It had all become just too much. It's pretty hard to give up a $90,000 annual salary.
Now, I'm 30 pounds heavier, lay in bed half the day - from the pain, and miserable.
I want my life back!!!! I know I'll never be the same. I'm no spring chicken but would like to be somewhat normal, at least.
Once I got through the initial shock, I agreed to the morphine. Of course, my husband flipped out when I told him! I've been taking it for 6 days. I guess it helps a little. I'm still taking tylenol 2x daily, occasional advil and flexeril.
Yesterday seemed to be a reasonable day. I was on my stationary bike for 25 minutes and did a few light things around the house. I was falling asleep at 7:45 last night so decided it was time to sleep. Apparently, the things I did yesterday were exhausting for me. I didn't sleep well after 10 pm and finally got up at 3:30am today. Couldn't sleep because of the pain. Fortunately, in my circumstance, I can always go back to sleep later. If I still worked, then what would I do?
I'm back to the anger again. I'm seeing my psychologist next Tuesday.
No comments:
Post a Comment